Close to you
by aStormyHaze
Summary: Is this the beginning of a new chapter of Jackson and April after he said those words for her in the parking lot?
1. Chapter 1

Okay, i had this in my mind after 12x19 and all the feels it gave me LMAO. I had to get out of my system. It's probably not well written but.. hope you enjoy :)

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After that night in the parking lot, things finally started to calm down for April and Jackson, of course, in the beginning it wasn't the same, but they felt progress every day. The next morning both had called their lawyers to call off all the stuff that had happened.

Sometimes they bumped on each other in a hallway and asked how each other were doing, and with each day, they started feeling more and more comfortable around the other. A few weeks after, April had an appointment with Arizona, so she called Jackson, who was turning into the man she still loved with all heart, but had broke her a lot in the past. Of course, she understood why and she had a lot of time to reflect about their divorce, why it had happened, what she could had done to stop it from happened. After giving so much thought, she came to the realisation that she never apologised to him. She had left. Twice. He needed her, but she wasn't there for him. As much as she needed to scape from it all, even him. She never told him, but ever since Samuel died seeing him hurt her for a lot of reasons. She saw Samuel in Jackson, she saw the short moments they had, and deep down she knew that he was broken too, and it hurt her, it was killing her slowly. She HAD to go. But that isn't an excuse for the pain that she caused him being away for so long. She knew that and she wanted to say all of that to him, she was ready.

At the same time, she was so happy for their baby. She had been so frustrate, scared and lonely for the first part of this pregnancy but now, she knew that baby was health, moving and kicking. Kicking! Every time she felt something, it was an rush of joy for her and, by the time she started feeling good enough with Jackson, around 5 months in, she'd call him in the hospital to an on-call-room to talk about baby stuff and let him feel her belly. She was starting to feel whole again. But it wasn't the same. They weren't married, they weren't living together, she missed him hugging him in bed, feeling his warmth and his love. Sometimes she felt that spark in his eyes. "It's only in my head" she thought. It was best if she didn't get her hopes hight, it hurt less to keep that "distance" so to speak. Of course she wanted him, but he had made it very clear that he didn't want her anymore, not as his wife.

6 months in and their relationship couldn't be better, well, not compared to the first months of the pregnancy at least… he'd go her place to check on her almost every night, they started arranging the nursery together, and they had so much fun doing it! Jackson was smiling ear to ear whenever April let him feel her belly, it was his favourite thing in the world.

For Jackson, things with April weren't perfect, but he felt like they were making progress, he was starting to feel like himself again. It helped to know, and feel, and live all the process of being a dad, or preparing to have a family. With April. And this time everything about the baby was okay, everything was going to be okay, he repeated in his head every morning and every time she let him touch her belly, which was becoming more and more frequent.

\- "Hey Jackson!" She called him from the hallway. "Come here, quick!" pointing to her belly. She was five months pregnant and getting big. "Baby's really happy today". She was smiling ear to ear.

\- "Whoa! He really is!".

\- "Why do you always refer to the baby as a he? I feel like it's a girl!"  
\- "Well, i really want to know, but you wanna keep the surprise thing…. or maybe not…" he says playfully.  
\- "Ahh okay maybe I wanna know. Next appointment okay? I'm getting really curious and i wanna start prepping the nursery and everything… - Do you…". She stopped. She wanted his help so much. But she had no idea what would be his reaction if she asked.  
\- "What? Come on April. It's fine.". He looked so… so… calm.  
\- "oh.. well.. would you.. would you like to come over… later? We should start talking about stuff and arranging everything".  
\- "Of course". He replied with a smile. Wow she really wanted to hug him right now. They spend a few moments just lost in each others eyes until she was paged.  
\- "Damn! i have to go. But thank you. Really".  
\- "No problem. See you later! And April…" He said which made her stop.  
\- "What?"  
\- "It's just… never mind…"

Something had definitely happened in that very few moments….

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Should i continue? I have some ideas, and we definitely need more Japril in our lives. Say what you think in the reviews :)


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you sooooo much for your reviews! They mean a lot to me. Hope you enjoy this chapter

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The rest of the day was pretty hectic for April. She was hoping to get some free time to arrange everything for later. She surely didn't want to have high hopes for that night, but she had been wanting to give him that since as long she could remember. Of course, it wasn't like she was planning to happen, they were supposed to be married, committed to each other and all that, but Mer had said clearly, _plans don't mean anything_.

Jackson on the other hand, was having a super light day until he had to scrub in a surgery with Karev, a teen was playing with fireworks and ended up in the OR.

\- "How is she doing man?"

\- "Since when do you care for April's well being?"

\- "Hey, first of all, quit being an ass. Second, I've known about her for a long time now and we all know how much she's been thought, both of you for that matter so stop being an idiot and talk to me damn it!".

Jackson realised he had been way to rude for answering a friend that way, a friend that, by the way, had been there for April in the early stages of her pregnancy.

\- "Okay, okay, sorry. It's just, complicated…"

\- "Oh come on Avery. You love each other, you both made mistakes, you hurt each other pretty bad, yeah who doesn't?! That shouldn't get in the in the way. Specially for you two."

\- "But…"

\- "You are just creating excuses. Just be honest with each other already. It will be a good thing for the three of you. And of course, for the patients that can't sleep while you two scream like crazy."

Was Alex really giving him advice? Really?

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After a long tiring day running the ER, April was finally getting ready to go home when she heard jackson talking to someone. That someone was Alex, they had finished the operation and were now prepping to leave.

She was about to enter when the conversation caught her attention.

\- "….I know man, I do have feelings for her and I know that she does too. But it's just too complicated right now. Pregnant ex-wife with a baby in the mix? I can just expect that she'll be fine with everything. It's too much."

"Stop being so stupid Avery! Just go, talk to her. It will be fine. It's not like you haven't done this before… I know it's been a while but you know you what you gotta do man."

\- "Yeah…"

Ouch! That felt like a slap in her face. Well, it shouldn't, they weren't married anymore, he could be with anybody he wanted, they didn't belong with each other anymore. But she wasn't over him yet and part of thought she'd never be…

She decided to go home alone and left before the guys realise she was listening to them talking.

Later that night, April was trying to get that conversation out of her head and at the same time, trying not to freak out over Jackson coming over a little later. She thought the perfect thing to do was start cooking! When they were married, she loved too cook him dinner when they got back from work. Not just for him, but the feeling that people liked her food really got to her. Now she was pretty much alone (of course, baby always love to remind his or her presence with his or her kicks) in a big a apartment. Kinda depressing she thought to herself. She had been pretty, a little too much excited for that night and the conversation helped her keeping her feet on the ground, making her feel a little sad in the process. She still loved him too much not to care, but she couldn't do anything about it right now. Right now it was all about the little perfect life growing in her belly, and of course Jackson was the dad, and he was going to be the most amazing dad, which made her think about how much she loved him, which got her back to square one. That was going to be a hell of a night…

A little later, the sound of the doorbell made April got back from her daydreams. She had just finished dinner and was laying down for a little bit in the couch.

When she answered the door, Jackson was standing with a grin across his face and a gift in his hand. She could see he was trying his best to hide, but he was pretty for an Avery. The guy was so secure of himself 99% of the time and now he was looking like a teenage boy for some reason.

\- "Hey! Sorry I'm late. Had to go pick this first. Here."

\- "Oh, thanks! And come in. Dinner is ready." She said with a smile.

She got the yellow box with the green bow in her hands and closed the door as he entered the apartment.

\- "But first check it out what I got for the baby".

\- "Yes. Of course."

She unwrapped the box to find all kinds of cute baby stuff. Oh, he's was making the hole "letting her feeling for him go" really really hard…

\- "Oh My God." She didn't realise she had tears in her eyes. "That's… that's beautiful Jackson. Thank you so much". When she turned to see him, he was already giving her the look, the same passionate look he'd given her when they were together.

\- "You're welcome. And why are you crying April?"

\- "The usual" she said, trying to hide her feelings… "hormones and everything.."

\- "Ah.. okay. I didn't mean to…"

\- "no, no, no. This is perfect. Really. You're just so…" she stopped as Jackson threw a puzzled look.

\- "Okay" April thought. "I won't make the same mistake again. Be honest. Talk to him. Go!"

\- "Actually I… I…."

\- "April, what's going on?" He could begin to understand what she was trying to say.

\- "Okay, okay. I overheard you talking to Alex today. And I just… I know that you're moving on, and you've met someone, and it's complicated with everything that happened and that's happening to us. And.. and.. it's gonna be hard for me for while, to adjust, cause you know how I still feel about you"

\- "April…"

\- "Please, let me finish. Please"

\- "Okay, fine, go on"

\- "What I think I'm trying to say is:" She let a deep breath. Trying to calm down. "It's gonna be hard for me at first. But if you're happy with someone else, I have to try being happy for you. Even if it still hurts." She still had tears in her eyes and that was some powerful stuff to hear from Jackson's POV.

\- "Wow". That was all he could say right away. He was trying to find the right words to talk to her. They need to be very very good.

They were in silence for a few seconds just trying to figure out what each other was thinking. Jackson had to break the tension and explain everything now. There was no scape for him.

\- "… Okay, that was a lot." He said, fixing his eyes on her. "first of all, thank you for talking to me about it April, I appreciate that." She nodded.

\- "About my conversation, with Alex… I don't know how much you heard but…" How was he going to say that to her? That he still loved her to death, even after she hurt him, when she didn't say she was pregnant and all of that. That he couldn't think of raising their baby without her by his side every step of the way. That he had missed her the time they were apart.

\- "But…" she offered with a disbelief look on her face.

\- "But.. I… I wasn't talking about some random girl that I've met after the divorce". Nope, not the way he was trying to go..

\- "So, that means I know her?" Abort, abort, that was not gonna end well.

\- "Actually yeah, very well I believe". April just nodded. He could see she was trying her best not to burst in tears at that point. She was holding all together. She was strong, so strong.

\- "April, hey." He stepped a little closer, no to much to enter her personal space, since he had no idea how she dealing with the way he was speaking. "It's.. It's you. April. We were talking about you." he pu his hands up in the air. Meanwhile confusion was all over her face.

\- "Yeah" he said with a nervous laugh. And I know it's weird, complicated but it's the truth. And it's too much right now. But it's the truth." They were both in sync right now, if you think about it. They both had a lot to confess, and talk, and finally, after so much time, it was really happening.

\- "Okay.. I… That was not what I was expecting. A all." She said with a small smile. "Thank you Jackson. It really… really means a lot to me." Personal space was not an issue anymore. Somewhere between the talk, both got closer and closer with even noticing.

\- "And… I… I.. have something for you too." She said, going to her bedroom.

She quickly returned with a bag handing to him. he got it and instantly opened. A light grey t-shirt with the "World's greatest dad" written.

\- "April…"

\- "You already are." She said. All the tension, all the doubts were on hold for that moment.

\- "Thanks April. That's… the most amazing gift. I mean it. Actually I have something for you too." He said, taking a small box out of his pocket.

Her heart was beating so fast. She couldn't believe that night was ending like that. Both of them comfortable with each other, talking, in sync. It was too much.

When she opened, a beautiful golden necklace with a shape of a heart, she could see there was a space for a picture inside. When she gave a better look, in the other side there was initials

\- "SN" she said loud.

\- "He's always with us April". Jackson's words came as a whisper.

All she could do right now was wrap her arms around him. He's was for sure world's greatest dad.

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Well…. What do you think guys? Please leave some feedback and more ideas okay? i wanna know what you want to read :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! It's been a while since the last chapter and I'm sorry. Life get's in the way of writing. Anyway, here is the new piece of the story. Hope this helps you to wait till S13.**

 **Also, thank you all for the reviews :)**

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The dinner was amazing, they were finally starting to feel each other after a really long time. Not having the feeling that something was about to happen or that either of them would hurt the other, the conversation was easy and full of hope, hope that they were starting to build something amazing together, little by little, step by step.

After the dinner, Jackson left their former apartment giving April a hug, oh that hug, that warmth that she missed so much. It took a while they had to break the contact. It was getting pretty late and both had early shifts the morning after. But the time they had wasn't enough to finish discussing everything they wanted to.

\- "Thanks April, for everything. Had a great time". He said with a grin.

\- "Yeah yeah Glad you liked. To be honest, I had a pretty different vision of what this night would be like. But it was really good". She replied.

\- "See you tomorrow than. Goodnight".

\- "Aren't you forgetting something?". Jackson started to think one hundred possibilities on his head. He's love to kiss her right now, but that would be too much, "baby steps" he thought.

\- "I… humm".

\- "Come on, say goodnight to the baby". April said taking his hands to her belly.

\- "Goodnight little boy… or girl".

\- "About that… I'm not sure I wanna know the sex Jackson… What do you think?".

\- "Well, I think a surprise wouldn't be the worse thing in the world…".

\- "Do you wanna, grab lunch with me tomorrow. We barely talked about baby names and these stuff today". They spent the dinner talking like best friends that hadn't seen each for a long time. Of course the conversation went to the baby sometimes, but they both needed to catch up in each others lives, they had been apart for so long.

\- "Sure. We can talk. Tomorrow is my day off, but i'll meet you at the hospital. I better go. You and baby need rest". He said with a grin.

\- "Night Jackson.". They exchanged looks and she closed the door.

They'd be okay. She thought sitting on the couch.

They'd be fine. He thought before driving to his apartment.

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The next day started pretty slow in the pit so April was doing paperwork in the nursing station thinking about what was going to happened a few months later, imagining how her life would change forever and with renewed hopes about her little until Arizona appeared to talk.

-"Morning April. How's my baby doing in there?".

-"Baby is great. I'm great, everything is great!". She said a little too much excited. She looked like old Kepner, not the 2.0, playful, all rainbows and happiness. Something had happened…

-"So… do you wanna have lunch with me today?" Arizona asked, the plan was to find what was going on with April. Maybe just the hormones, she thought.

-"Oh, sorry, I can't today. I have a thing. We could have dinner. What do you say?".

-"Of course, that's cool. Sofia will be with Callie tonight so I'm free."

-"Great!". They started chatting until an incoming arrived and and when they saw the patient, everyone was glad Arizona was nearby….

\- "Brooke Parker. 27. Was stabbed in the abdomen. 7 months pregnant…". The paramedic continued talking as they moved her. There was so much blood.

\- "Straight to the OR." Arizona yelled.

It was a really complicated surgery, no way April would be finished by lunch time.

Jackson arrived and went to look for her in the pit, asking for one the nurses where she was, just as Josh Parker arrived yelling at everyone asking for his wife.

Jackson helped him calm down, well as much as he could. He really felt for the guy, he was desperate to have news, good news. They moved to the waiting area and when Jackson was about to live, Josh started talking, probably to himself, about his wife, maybe he shouldn't just leave the guy. He took a seat next and started listen carefully.

Brooke and Josh had been married for 5 years and this was their first baby, a girl. They had trouble to conceive so she was their little miracle. Everything was going nicely. Until some crazy guy attacked her in the grocery store.

Jackson stood there in silence not saying a word and creating all kinds of scenarios in his head: what if something happened with the baby? or with April for that matter. They already had went through the pain of loosing Samuel and that tore them apart. What if it happen again? What if this time was something with April. Man, that was giving him chills, and it was not good.

1 hour and half later, the surgeons were sore, tired and there was a lot to come. April appeared in the waiting area looking for Josh…

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 **Well, guys, a little cliffhanger for you. That chapter was a bit short but I promise a bigger one next. Also, could you help me out with something? Do you think the characters are too OOC? Leave me a message and see you next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, I am really sorry for making you wait so much. Uni + work keeps me for writing :/**

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April appears in the waiting area scanning for Brooke's family. Her eyes locked in Jackson talking with a guy she had never seen before. When they noticed her presence, Josh instantly jumped with a hopeful expression all over his face. Jackson knew April better than anyone, he could see she was exhausted and knew something was off from that minute.

"Mister Parker? I'm doctor Kepner and…" he cut her off.

"How's Brooke? What about the baby? They're fine right?"

"Well, she had a huge bleeding but we were able to control it. She's still very fragile and in the ICU but she'll have a full recovery." She stated.

"And our baby?"

April was trying to get the words out but it would be hard, she knew what was going to happen very well, since the feeling haunted her hopes and dreams in a daily basis.

"Mr. Parker, we are very sorry. We weren't able to save your baby, she had areal left us when she was brought to us." She was looking deep in his eyes as she watched all the hope vanish from his features. He was the face of a broken man, in a matter of seconds.

"No, no. That can't be true. She is okay. You can be right" The young man said as his voice cracked and tears started rolling. His knees went weak and he fell in front of April before could do anything about it. She knew there was nothing that she could do or say right now to bring comfort to him.

Jackson watched the scene having a very familiar feeling himself. All the fear, the doubts and the pain that Josh had just being through were his companion for a long time, and truth to be told, hadn't left him, they were just dormant. Seeing that tall man crying in knees was terrible. Seeing that with Jackson's background was excruciating. And he couldn't begin to imagine what was making with April, for that matter. He needed to do something.

"Josh. Hey. Come on." He said trying to pick him up. Josh was to devastated to protest, so he moved to one of the chairs as April followed them.

"Josh, I know this is a terrible thing. The pain your going through right now. But…"

"NO! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH!" He screamed, making April give a step back. "I just lost my baby, our baby. How am I supposed to get over it? What can I do to help Brooke? I… I… This baby should be our miracle. And now… So don't… don't say that." He finished putting both hands on his face.

Jackson wasn't suppose to get personal to a patient but he couldn't help it right now. And technically he was his patient. So screw the regulations!

"I know that your hurt and scared and you don't know what to do right now. And I know exactly how you feel and what's going on in your head and what's now." He paused, feeling the tears coming. he took a deep breath and continued.

"And I know that because…" His tone and his words made Josh look at him. "… because I lost my son too. I've only met him for a few moments, and he was gone. It broke me, my wife and we didn't knew how to move forward. Every day is a struggle, I can't say it gets better, It's a fight, it's a war. It's up to you, to choose to fight. I try to make his time in our family worth it. Every second of it."

Josh was now sobbing and April could see Jackson's red eyes and expression. And what he said. Was both sad and brave.

Josh's reaction was almost instantaneous. He leaned as he as almost asking for support. Jackson than gave him a quick but reassuring hug.

"You have to be strong, for her. She NEEDS you." Jackson finished. Josh than turned to April.

"Where is Brooke? Can I see her?"

"She just went out of surgery. But you can see her in the next hour".

"I wanna be there when she wakes up. I have to."

"You will". They both said it, looking at each other.

Jackson left Josh and April had to go back to arrange things with Arizona, apart from the little locking eyes, which were so important for both of them and Jackson reminding her to feed, they didn't had any time to talk…

Almost an hour later, Arizona was checking Brooke's vitals, Josh was by her bed, waiting for her to wake up, as April appeared and called Arizona to talk.

"How is she doing?"

"Well, her vitals are all good, but since she just had a massive surgery, her body is really tired. She'll be waiting up soon through…"

"Yeah…" April swallowed. It was gonna be hard to tell her the news…

"You don't need to be here. For that, April. I know how hard this is for you."

"No no no. I need to be there for her. For them both. And I'll talk, if it's ok with you." She said reaffirming her position. "She's though". Arizona thought to herself.

"Fine, April. Just be calm ok?. It's for you and the little one."

"Thank you."

When they go back to the room, Brooke was starting to show signs that she was about to wake up, Josh held her hand thigh as her eyes started to open and she tried to move around. April and Arizona got closer to make sure she didn't make any abrupt movements.

"Ms. Parker, hey! Calm down, you're okay, you're okay." April said calming her patient.

"She scanned the room and found Josh looking at her, red eyes and everything, he couldn't say a word."

Brooke was very shaken by the surgery and the anesthesia, but that didn't stop her from trying to know what's was happing, what had happen. She needed to know.

"I… I… What's… Is my…"

"Ms. Parker, you were attacked in a grocery store by a man with a knife. You arrived here with a massive bleeding…" She took a deep breath before continuing, she could see Brooke's worry escalating quickly. "… we were able to save your life, you're in the ICU right now."

"And.. My…" Brooke said almost whispering.

"…Ms. Parker, we did everything in our power to save your little girl, but she didn't make it. We're so sorry." That was it. The couple were bawling by the end of her sentence. Brooke didn't make a sound and Josh could only hold her hand and gently as he could, making his presence by her side.

Arizona watched the scene. Knowing the position April was right now made her both amazed by her friend and very worried as well. It wasn't easy.

They passed more information regarding Brooke and left the room. April said she would rest a little a left in the next moment, leaving Arizona.

Jackson spent the next hours pacing around, thinking about 100 things, from the Parker's to Samuel, April, to his new baby, thank back to April. Meeting that couple gave him a reason to go back to that dark time and reevaluate everything. His reactions, her reactions, the what ifs, good ones and even more terrible ones. That was driving him crazy. He than decided to lay down a little, until he could have a chance to talk to his ex-wife. In the next on-call room, he saw, he entered the door to find a redheaded mess….

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 **So.. That it for this chapter. The arc isn't done yet. So a little more and angst might me coming from the Parkers to Japril. Feel free to review and share your thoughts, I love reading all of them. And my apologies for talking so long to update. Hopefully I'll have more free time this month.**

 **Thanks everyone!**


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